I am a full-time working mum and while it’s tough having to juggle between a job, family, kids and my personal needs, it’s a choice I’ve never regretted. I don’t think I’ll be happy being a Stay-at-home mum, and I certainly won’t make a good one either. My day job gives me an avenue to take a breather from taking care of kids and breaks the monotony of life, and because of that, I treasure every moment I get to spend with them after work and during the weekends. Having said that, it’s tough and tiring physically and mentally having to rush home from a long day of hectic work to another ‘job’ that’s more demanding in some ways. That is probably why I relish all the me-time and couple-time I get throughout the week – They keep me sane.
Many friends have asked me this question before: How do you juggle so many things on your plate? And how do you maintain your sanity when everything seems to be happening all at the same time?
Today, I share my 5 habits on how I can stay a highly effective FTWM, without losing it all:
1. Keep & Follow Strictly to A Schedule.
When there are just too many things happening, I need a schedule to keep me in check. A monthly schedule works best for me so that I know what I have to do in a month at one glance. To keep my enthusiasm and excitement going, the calendar is colorful and decorated with stickers and washi tapes. Yup, anything to make me happy when I look at it. =D The kids are beginning to realise that I keep such a calendar and they would sometimes peep in to see what’s upcoming during the weekends. =P
2. Get Into The Lives Of The Kids.
Human beings are habitual creatures. We all feel comfortable and secure repeating actions and behaviors. I make it a point to pick up the kids from school everyday and we talk about the day – what happened in school, what they did with their friends and what they ate the whole day etc. It may all sound mundane and repetitive, but those are the very things that keep us sane and connects us together. Now that the kids are more aware of things, I can also share with them what I did in office that day. This usually happens as we walk home, all in a matter of 5 to 10 minutes. Such a simple act, but so important to me. It allows me to get right into the lives of the kids.
3. Have A Fixed Weekday Bedtime For The Kids.
Having a fixed weekday bedtime for the kids is important both for the kids and for me. Instead of waiting till they are sleepy enough, they must be in bed by 9.30pm every night. By instilling a fixed bedtime, the kids know there is no room for negotiation and their biological bodies would also be ready for sleep every night at the same time. Of course, there are exceptions when we are on holidays, staycations and Friday nights. I am not a Tiger mum. =)
4. Have Me-Time Every Night.
Closely linked to Point #3, I have me-time before I go to sleep every night. That happens after the kids go into lala land, so it’s important that I make them keep to a fixed bedtime. I may not do much during me-time – I may be zoning out in front of the TV, blogging, editing photographs, surfing the net or listening to music – As long as I get to relax and do something I like, I’m a happy girl. On some nights when the girls don’t sleep well or can’t fall asleep for some reason or another, I get frustrated and upset. Thankfully, that doesn’t happen often.
5. Make Time For Couple Time.
The husband is my soul-mate and best friend, and I enjoy chatting and hanging out with him. On our off days, we would go cafe-hunting, do street photography and just do something we enjoy without the kids. This, to me, is the most effective way to stay sane. I may be a mum, but I am also a wife, and my personal conviction is that I must first be a happy wife, then I can be a happy mum. The husband’s support and father role in the kids’ lives make it easier for me to cope with the demands of life.When I get all flustered and frustrated handling the kids, I look to the husband and know that everything’s gonna be alright.
Thanks to the above, I have not become insane after 8 years as a FTWM to two active girls. If you are FTWM, I am sure you have some of these habits yourself too. We may be busy mums, but we are still happy mums. That’s the most important thing, I guess. :)
This post is part of a blog train hosted by Christy from Kids 'R' Simple on "A Peek into the After Work Hours of a FTWM". Read about how 21 FTWMs from Singapore Mom Bloggers handle their kids and household everyday from 1 June to 21 June. The aim is to give other working mums motivation, ideas and support to deal with the everyday demands of juggling work and family while keeping sane. We will be happy to hear your story, tips and even an encouraging word will make our day! Share your thoughts in the comments!
