I Don’t Know Where That Dress Came From

Joey wore a new dress to church today. I seriously had no idea where that dress came from!! I just found it in the wardrobe yesterday and when I asked my MIL, she said I brought it home one fine day. I totally don't recall seeing this dress before. But likely, it's a hand-me-down from my colleague's daughter.

She looks quite cute in the dress la, hor?

Sidetrack, I do think that my daughter is getting cuter and cuter by the day, especially with her growing ability to express herself and communicate with the people around her. But, as she is in her most inquisitive & active age now, it's hard not to get angry & frustrated with her when she misbehaves (and that happens really often now).

So much so that we have taken to using the cane alot more now (both in our verbal warnings as well as actually caning her). It used to be that I won't feel heart pain when we cane her palm during discipline, but nowadays, I am beginning to feel heart pain when we do it. I don't know what actually caused the change, but I think it's partly due to the fact that she is alot more expressive now, so she would plead with us not to cane her, and her tears come down in such humongous drops that I actually feel bad for making her so sad & scared.

And the perpetual question goes on in my mind: If we always cane her when she misbehaves, would she resort to 'beating' other kids too when they 'misbehave' (in her context, misbehaving means snatching her toys or not doing what she wans them to do)? Experts would tell you that kids learn how to deal with situations by observing how their parents do it, and if their parents use violence to alter a certain behaviour, they would think it's ok to use violence to solve their problems as well.

Then again, I've tried using softer methods like explaining the situation and slowly analysing why certain things should not be done, and although she would always say she understood what we were trying to say, she would repeat the same misbehaviour again pretty soon after. Doesn't seem to have gotten into her.

Sigh, effective parenting is really not easy.