Mum’s Diary: 3 Achievements Unlocked!

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Tuesday
12 Nov 2013
11.58pm

Today, I’ve obtained bragging rights.

Joey came home from school last night and while we were having dinner, she casually mentioned that she got back her Report Book that day. Very casually, she took out her report book to show me and I was stumped when I saw her results. Everything was Band 1, oh my gosh!

Wipe that smirk off your faces. I know as a mom, I ought to be the one who has the most confidence in my girl. But remember this Mum’s Diary post where I lamented on how I ‘forgot’ to revise with her before all her tests? I frankly wasn’t expecting a lot. The good results was a wonderful surprise! Joey was a little amused at how excited hubby and I looked. She had the , ‘What’s the big deal?” look on her face.

The comments written by the Form Teacher in the Report Book were all so positive and encouraging. She said that Joey is a polite student who participates actively in class discussions. She is also a good leader who is very driven. As an avid reader, she had also been nominated several times to be the Top Reader of the month in this year. So proud of Joey! :)

That was Achievement #1.

Then Joey passed us a piece of paper, which was an invitation to the Awards Presentation Ceremony on Friday this week. I was bewildered because Friday is supposed to be a school holiday and only students receiving awards need to be in school, and told Joey so. In her usual nonchalant tone, she went, “Ya, I’m receiving an award!”

“You WHAT???!!!”

“Ya, Teacher said that I am one of those receiving an award so we all have to attend.”

“Oh my goshhhhhhhh Joey!!!! What award is that???”

“Dunno. Teacher says it’s a surprise.”

The Primary One students don’t get awards for results or academic performance, so hubby and I are guessing that it might be Top Reader of the Year award or something. Nevertheless, it’s a great achievement! Achievement #2!

Achievement #3 was really a big surprise! Joey then passed me another letter which was a consent form for her to attend a training for Trainee Prefects, so Joey will be a Trainee Prefect in Primary Two and then officially a prefect in Primary Three! Wooohooooooo! I was really happy because I knew how much Joey wanted to be the Class Monitor, but didn’t get selected. In fact, her Teacher told me before that she was hesitant to choose her to be the Class Monitor because she tends to be bossy some times. She was worried that her bossy-ness would manifest even greater if she becomes a Monitor. So, this time round, it came as a complete surprise that she got nominated to be a Prefect!

In fact, the prep talk started that very evening about how, with greater power comes greater responsibilities, and how a Prefect is to take care of younger students and those who need help. My gut feel tells me that Joey will be such an awesome Prefect and Senior in school! :)

Her Primary One life will be ending in a few days’ time, and it looks like it’s going to end on such a perfect note. I am immensely proud of my girl. :)

Mum's Diary: The Pseudo Exams

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Wednesday
30 Oct 2013
11.07am

I've been grossly deceived by my kid's Primary School.

Late last year when I did Joey's Primary School registration, I was briefed that there will be NO examinations until Final Semester in Primary Two. During which, the kid will be assessed based on other areas such as her personality traits, social skills, leadership skills, etc. I thought that was pretty cool - Give the kids time to settle in to a new phase in their lives and get used to the education system before all the hard realities fall into place.

Apparently, even though the school doesn't call them exams, the kids sit through exams anyway. And the best part is they get reflected in Report Books with proper grades and such. When Joey brought home her report book in late May this year, I was taken aback when I saw that there were grades reflected, with banding even! By the grace of God, she did pretty well for all her subjects. But it sent a chill down my spine that I had done nothing to prepare my girl for her "exams". According to Joey, she didn't sit through any exams - Everything was assessment papers. I guess what you call it does make a difference, at least in the minds of the kids.

I was a little upset for a while. Then I forgot all about it.

Now history has repeated itself in the Final Semester of Primary One and AGAIN, I didn't do anything to prepare Joey for her "exams"! I must be the most horrible mom on earth. I am a mother who sent my kid to the battlefield without giving her a weapon or two! It didn't help that the school continued to call it Assessments.

In fact, just the other day, Joey came home and told me casually that she just had her Chinese Oral and Listening Comprehension Assessment. I freaked out for a second before trying to act calm. In my most natural voice, I asked casually, "Oh nice baby, so did you know how to read the words and answer the questions?" I managed an awkward smile.

"Yep, it was ok." was her response. Don't freak out, mom. It was an assessment, remember?

Monday was her school's declared school holiday because of 2014 P1 Registration matters, so we went out to play the whole day. By evening time, the girl casually told me again that there will be all kinds of assessments this week. In layman's terms, that means this week is EXAMINATION WEEK! It's what?! And we just spent a whole day gallivanting at some water playground?!

Nope, I did not make her take out her textbooks and drill her till midnight. She didn't want to because it had been a tiring day. In fact, she watched TV and had an early night. I can only pray and hope that everything goes well, and that she remembers everything she learnt in class.

Before I left the house on Tuesday morning, I couldn't resist leaving her a gentle reminder on her blackboard: "Dear Joey, please take out your Chinese Textbook and practise writing all the words before going to school. All the best for your Chinese Test. I love you."

All I wanted to say was, 'GOD BLESS YOU, MY GIRL. I AM HOPING FOR THE BEST.'

 

P/S: On the day she comes home with her report book, I'm going to hide under the table.
P/P/S: I promise I will buck up next year.

Mum's Diary: Focus On The Positive

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Thursday
5 Sep 2013
11.07pm

Today is the last day of school for the kids before the September school holidays start, so Joey came home with her portfolio which contains all the assignments, worksheets etc that she's done in the last few months.

Inside the portfolio, I found a progress report with the marks for different tests for the various subjects written. Even though the school told us right from the start that the kids would not have examinations for the first 1.5 years of their Primary School life, it turned out that the kids were given surprise tests during class. We were not informed beforehand except for the 'Show & Tell' sessions, so the main objective was to test if the kids understood what they were taught. Not only were the marks stated on the report, there was also indication of whether the scores were Band 1, 2, etc.

As if by instinct, my eyes were immediately drawn to one of the marks for Mathematics that showed that it's a Band 2 grade. I blurted out, "Huh, why so low marks?? You didn't know how to do many of the questions ah?"

Immediately, I felt really bad. I had done what I've told myself never to do.

There were 3 scores for each of the subjects on the progress report and for all of them, she scored above 90 marks and they were all Band 1 grading - All except one Mathematics paper which she scored less than 80 and got Band 2 grading. And I was that negative mommy who forgot to praise her for all her Band 1 scores, and only passed a quick comment on the not-so-good one.

Bad mummy.

Immediately, I could tell that her countenance dropped. Sometimes I forget what a sensitive girl she is.

So I quickly explained that I was just wondering what she didn't understand about her Mathematics such that she's not able to answer some of the questions. I was being too task-oriented on something that really didn't warrant it. She is after all just a Primary One kid - there is no need to sweat over examinations and grades now. And yes, I remembered to praise her for the rest of the good results and that I am always proud of her. In fact, I was surprised that her Chinese marks were higher than her English's, and I told her so. Looks like she might have inherited my genes - Chinese has always been my favourite subject of all time.

There are many conflicting thoughts in my mind about studying and getting good results. While I do not want my girl to be overly stressed about academic performance, I will be worried if she doesn't seem to be bothered with pursuing good results. While I do want my girl to be involved in different fun extra-curricular activities and projects in school, I am also concerned whether she will neglect her school work because of that. Striking a delicate balance is not easy.

With such an education system in Singapore, it is easy to get trapped in the rat race of pursuing better results. I have to constantly remind myself not to drop into the trap of focusing only on the end result, and forget that the journey of learning is way more important. What I really want to see is for my girl to have an enriching school life - learn new knowledge, have fun with friends and have a fulfilling Primary School life. That was the kind of Primary School life I had, and some 20+ years later, I still have fond memories of the many performances I did with a bunch of funny classmates and all those times we hung around with our Form Teacher at the PE Room. It is hardly a surprise I could not recall the studying bit at all. :P

Mum's Diary: The "Bursting-At-Seams" Confidence

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Wednesday
3 July 2013
8.36pm

I remember as a Primary School kid, I've always wanted to be the School Prefect.

For ego or vanity, I can't remember. But I do remember hoping that I could be one of those prefects strutting around with the badge, doing morning duties guiding the students to their classrooms, and keeping the class quiet and obedient while the teachers were in between classrooms. It felt like a really cool thing to do.

Fast forward 20+ years, and I see my girl behaving in the same way as I did.

Except, she's got more guts than I ever had.

Term 3 has just started this week, and she came home today telling me that she would be asking her Form Teacher the next day why she hasn't been made the Class Monitor yet. Apparently, she was very unhappy when the Teacher chose another girl (fate has it that it was her best friend) to be the Class Monitor last Term. She was hoping and praying that she would be chosen, and when it didn't happen, my very feisty girl went straight to the Teacher and told her as-a-matter-of-factly that she wants to be the Class Monitor. I don't really know how she brought that message across to her Teacher and in what tone and phrasing, but I certainly hope it was not rude or arrogant. I do admire her frankness but know I would never do something like that. I am too proud for that quite frankly. If I didn't get chosen, I would pretend I didn't care for it. My girl obviously thinks otherwise and the Teacher told her that she will consider making her one the next term.

I didn't make it to the Meet-the-Parents session last term, so I got Joey's Form Teacher to send me an email evaluation of her. More than her academic performance, I was more concerned about how she was behaving in Class and interacting with her classmates. Does she have friends in school, and who does she hang out with usually? Joey tells me what she does in school but I wanted to know if it was all true and whether there were anything the Teacher noticed that perhaps Joey didn't tell me about.

The Teacher's email was kind of reassuring. She said Joey's a little careless sometimes but copes well with her learning. She also has a group of friends she hangs out with everyday (And yes, the Class Monitor included of course), and she is seen to be helpful to her other classmates. As expected, she always raises her hand to answer questions and is able to give good suggestions and ideas during discussions. BUT, because she can be quite bossy at times, the Teacher is hesitant to make her the Class Monitor despite her showing obvious leadership qualities. I am very glad to see that the Teacher has made such an observation, and really hoping that Joey can learn to tone down on her bossiness and listen more to her friends. Bossy people have few friends and that is the thing that worries me the most.

It is so true that as the kids grow older, there are more things we have to worry about. More than whether they are eating, sleeping or pooing well, the issues that I think about now make my heart ache and give me sleepless nights. As the Chinese saying goes, "养儿一百年， 长忧九十九." (Raising a son for a hundred years and worrying for ninety-nine of those years). Parenting requires a strong and wise heart. There are only so much we can do as parents to prepare our kids for life's challenges, and the truth is we will not be by their side forever. I can only pray that my kids will have the wisdom of the Lord to guide their every step. Most of all, I want them to be happy. That should be the ultimate wish in every parent's heart?

Technorati Tags: mum's diary,kids,children,primary school,confidence,class monitor

Mum's Diary: Stress Is Inevitable?

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Sunday
13 May 2013
12.09am

On Wednesday last week, Joey came home looking exceptionally exhausted. She snapped at every word her sister said to her, and was easily agitated. I thought she must be really tired out by her day in school, but it also looked like she was under a lot of stress.

Thursday is usually her English Spelling day, so I told her that we would revise her spelling list after dinner, to which she said, "Teacher said I can have spelling next Monday instead because I was on MC yesterday, and I told Teacher I don't have time to study for it yet."

I was a little upset she actually went to tell her teacher that, and that the teacher actually agreed?! So I did the typical mummy thing and nagged at her that she shouldn't be lazy and should just get it over and done with for the spelling instead of procrastinating it to the following week.

Then she burst out crying.

"So many homework to do tonight! How would I have time to learn my spelling?? And the Chinese teacher said we are going to have a test next week! How???!"

There - the main source of all her stress and worries is out. THE TEST.

Apparently, the Chinese Teacher told the students that they were going to have a 'Show & Tell' the following week and they were to share about their favourite animal. The 'Show & Tell' will be graded upon 20 marks, and according to Joey, the teacher said that for every sentence said wrongly or missed out, she would deduct marks accordingly. Talk about instilling fear in the poor kids. Sigh.

Prompt questions were provided for the kids to draft out their 'Show & Tell' script. Everyone would need to memorise and say out about 8 sentences including the intro and the closing. I guess this can be rather stressful for a seven-year-old, having to memorize and say out clearly in front of a class crowd of 30 people, under scrutiny by the Teacher even.

I am upset about this, quite frankly. When the Principal met the parents at the beginning of the year, we were assured that the kids would not have examinations till the 2nd half of Primary Two. That would give them a good 1.5 years to get into the momentum of learning and hopefully, enjoy the process. But when I saw that Joey came home with test papers that she did in class - marked & graded, I was already bewildered. I thought perhaps it was just a routine class assignment, but Joey said the teacher sprang a surprise test on them, and they could not refer to their textbooks while doing the tests. Thank God Joey got full marks for most of them, so they are pretty manageable. But the way the teacher portrayed the 'Show & Tell' was a little too daunting for them, in my opinion. Rather than warning them that bad performance would result in her deducting marks, she would be a little more encouraging perhaps? It is after all their first 'Show & Tell' in Mandarin.

So, I drafted out the script for Joey according to the prompt questions and helped her to memorize them sentence by sentence. I knew the only way to eliminate the stress and fear was to overcome it by becoming well prepared. At least, that always worked for me. I hated for things to be out of control and full of uncertainties. I am always one who need to have assurance that I am well prepared and ready for the challenge ahead. Thankfully, it worked for Joey as well! After she memorized her script, she realised that it was not so difficult after all. I also had to give her a prep talk about how Mummy is not so concerned about how well she would do, but whether she has done her best. That was what my own mummy always told me from young, and I intend to inculcate that into my girls as well. We don't need to be the best in class, but we need to try our best in everything we do!

It seems to me that Joey is very similar to me in this area. My mum always tells me that she never needed to put pressure on me to get good grades, but I am the one who would always pressurize myself to keep doing better the next time round. And because of that, she was never worried for my studies, because she knew I would take responsibility for it myself. It is a good thing that Joey is conscientious I guess, but I pray that she would not overstress herself such that it becomes a burden. I still think that school should be fun and enjoyable! Seeing her break down and cry under tremendous stress worries me. :( I really hope that she would get better and better at coping with stress, and become more proactive in this aspect in future.

Read the rest of my entries in 'Mum's Diary' here.

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Mum's Diary: Superman & Superwoman

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Wednesday
17 April 2013
10.15pm

Tonight, we welcomed Superman & Superwoman to have a short stay at our place.

Meet Superman & Superwoman:

Joey came home from school one day and asked me in all seriousness whether she can bring her class pets home. Apparently, her Form Teacher brought two terrapins to school one fine day and declared that they were the class pets. The students could also take turns to bring them home to take care of them. Joey, as expected, volunteered immediately and so, they are now in our house. Hopefully not for too long.

I thought kids nowadays would be a lot more creative than kids of my time. I thought they would come up with cool names like Bieber or Taylor or someone popular now in the pop scene. But apparently, Joey's classmates all thought that Superman & Superwoman were the nicest names, and that was basically the story of how the terrapins got their (boring) names.

It cannot get more coincidental than this, but in the same week, Jayne came home and told her that she has got terrapins as class pets too! Initially, I thought she was just mimicking what her sister told us, but after checking with her teacher, I realised it was true. There must be one huge conspiracy going on in the education scene to have terrapins as class pets. Low maintenance and don't bite, perhaps?

You should have seen Joey's expression when she showed us the terrapins. She is more than mighty proud of them. I think it is meaningful to allow the kids to take turns to bring the pets home. In the process, they learnt about caring for little pets, responsibility and accountability. Learning is really more than just chewing on information in books, but experiential learning through activities like this. It also promotes a sense of ownership among the students over the class pet. Good move, really!

However, I do think that one week is more than sufficient to fulfil all the objectives of this activity, and Superman & Superwoman should make their way back to the classroom by next week, thank you very much.

Read the rest of the entries in Mum's Diary.

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Mum's Diary: Secrets

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Tuesday
26 March 2013
4.14pm

Secrets? What secrets??

How can a mere seven-year-old have any secrets at all? I thought all kids are transparent and show their every displeasure and emotion on their faces as-it-is?

Apparently not.

The last day of the March school holidays, we were packing her school bag in preparation for school the next day. I reminded her to return her school library books because they were approaching the deadline after one week of school holidays. She casually mentioned that she has decided not to borrow any more books from the school library because she wants to focus on reading her books at home. I recently bought some new storybooks for her, so I didn't think much into her comment.

My MIL was the sharp one. She immediately picked up that something was not right with Little Missy. The school library was her favourite hangout place, and to declare that she would not borrow any more books really didn't sound very right. She immediately asked Joey, "What happened? Quarrelled with someone at the library? Somebody scolded you at the library, is it?"

Joey muttered, "It's a secret."

There! When a kid says she has a secret, it is a cue to immediately pin her down, pry open her mouth and demand that she spits out the truth with absolutely no delay whatsoever. But of course, I am a kind and nice lady and would do no such thing. Between my MIL and I, we coaxed her to tell us what happened.

Apparently, on the last day of school a week ago, she went to return her books at the school library, and one of the book jackets fell off. The librarian chided her for not taking good care of the books, to which I imagine (Purely my imagination) she retorted, "But it's not my fault! The jacket fell off by itself in my bag!" The librarian was clearly upset that she refused to admit her mistake, and reportedly told Joey angrily that she was not to borrow such books from the library anymore. Joey felt humiliated that she was scolded in front of everyone in the library, and so made a conscious note NEVER to borrow books from the school library again.

See, a little heart is easily wounded.

I have yet to get the full story of what exactly happened though. I've messaged Joey's Form Teacher to help me find out what made the librarian so upset that she would scold her like that because of a book jacket that dropped off. In any case, I explained to Joey that if she were to give up borrowing and reading her favourite books in the school library simply because of a pride issue, it was totally not worth it. Furthermore, the book jacket did come out in her school bag, so the least she could do was to say sorry and that she did not mean for it to happen, as simple as that! She came home that day with 4 more newly borrowed books. :) But when asked whether she greeted the librarian, she said, "It was awkward." =P

Some lessons I learnt from this incident:

1. Be extra sensitive to the kid's facial expression and the words that she says. It may give a good hint to something that's happened in school which she did not tell you about.

2. Do not embarrass a kid in public no matter what. Their pride is everything - Embarrass them and they'll remember you forever for it.

3. Kids, when not taught the right way to handle some situations, may make 'secret vows' on their own, which is usually not the best solution. In this case, Joey thought that avoiding the library will be the best way to avoid confrontations until I analysed and explained to her.

What's happening to our kids nowadays?? They seem to mature too fast, it's scary!

Post script on 28 March 2013 8.45am

Joey came home last night and proudly showed me a bookmark that the librarian gave to her as a present, exclaiming that it's her first ever bookmark (Like real, babe. Mummy has given you so many bookmarks before, can??!). So, apparently, they are now friends again.

Mum's Diary: Another Kind Of Number One!

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Wednesday
6 March 2013
11.23pm

I've always known that Joey loves reading, but I didn't realise that she loves it SO MUCH. Ever since her Form Teacher announced that they would be issued borrower's card for the school library, she would nag at me to ask the teacher everyday, when the card was finally going to come. I thought it was just a novelty and she was getting excited over a new venture in her life. But 1 month has passed, and this passion for reading continued to blossom.

Because she reaches her school pretty early everyday, she has lots of time to spend in the library everyday. That is a good thing of course - Better to hang around in the library than near the bookshop, ahem. And because the school library card allows her to borrow 4 books each time, she would come home with 4 books everyday.

At the beginning, she chose the hardcover and really huge books, which made her school bag so terribly heavy everyday. We tried to explain to her that she didn't have to rush through reading 4 books every day, and it would suffice to borrow just one book each time. But she refused to listen. The only difference was, she started borrowing books that are thinner, smaller but have more words.

Not only would she conscientiously read her books before school, in the school bus and at home, she would also update her Reading Record Book religiously. It is basically a book that encourages the kid to not just read, but to do some simple reviews of the books they've read, draw pictures of the book covers, etc. Seriously, if it were me, I would not even bother with it. After all, it's not a piece of homework that I need to hand in! But because the school librarian is her best friend, and the school library her favourite place in school, Joey completes everything with much gusto and willingness. She totally deserves a pat on her back for her diligence in this area.

For her hard work, she got Princess stickers from her librarian, which she was very proud of.

Then the other day, she came home and told me that she was the school's TOP READER OF THE MONTH! In the span of one month, she borrowed and read 67 books - what a feat! Her name and class appeared on the notice board outside the library. Coincidentally, the 2nd top reader is a boy from her class as well. Looks like there are many avid readers in her class!

And that was the story of her first accomplishment in Primary School. :)

Mum's Diary: The School Bus Saga

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Tuesday
26 February 2013
11.55pm

While I was in Hong Kong, a very scary saga happened at home.

I received a whatsapp message from my mother-in-law at about 7pm, telling me to contact the school bus because she was slightly late at picking up my daughter and when she reached the pick-up point, she saw the bus leave but my daughter did not alight. She thought that the school bus was going to make a detour and come back again so she waited for 30 minutes before messaging me.

I panicked because I didn't bring the school bus company's contact along with me to Hong Kong! But thank God, hubby reminded me that I had called the company some time the previous week and it could still be in my phone's log. Found it, called the company and they contacted the school bus, only to tell me the news that totally freaked me out: They had alighted my daughter more than half an hour ago at 6.35pm.

How could it be so??? My MIL didn't see my daughter! Where could she be??!! I screamed over the phone at the bus company, asking them how could they be so irresponsible to alight a 7-year-old girl by the roadside?? Are they going to be held responsible if my daughter went missing?? The lady explained that my daughter had told them to let her alight, because her grandmother told her that in case of any emergency when she didn't turn up to pick her, she was to take the lift home and wait for her. I got even more furious hearing that - "HOW COULD YOU LISTEN TO WHAT A KID TELLS YOU??? SHE'S ONLY SEVEN YEARS OLD, FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!" I think my friends who were with me on the trip had never seen such a hysterical me before. =P

We quickly called my MIL, and asked her to go back home. Those few minutes of waiting for her to rush home felt sooooooooooo long. I think my face was white and I totally hyperventilated.

Thankfully, my daughter was indeed back home. She took the lift by herself and realising that she didn't have the home keys with her, decided to play with our neighbour instead. It was a big scare for all of us, but we were just glad she was okay. I immediately tried to Facetime with her, but the connection was very bad. Even so, I managed to catch a glimpse of her face (really tired and sweaty though) and it helped calm my nerves a little.

When I got back from Hong Kong, I understood the whole story from Joey. Apparently, my MIL had prepared her that in case anything cropped up, and she was late to pick her up, she was not to be afraid. She should ask the bus lady to bring her across the road and she could take the lift up the our home and wait there. So that was what she did. But because she could only remember my mobile number and did not want to call me since I was in Hong Kong (thinking it would cost a bomb, this poor girl), she could not call anyone else and could only just wait (and play with my neighbour's kid). My mother-in-law saw the school bus leave but did not see Joey, so she assumed she was still on the bus, when in actual fact, she had walked so fast and was probably back at our block already by then. It was a huge saga that freaked out all of us, and it definitely spoilt that night in Hong Kong for me. My heart was pounding so fast the entire night. Sigh

I took school bus when I was in Primary One too - How come I didn't have such problems last time??!

Mum's Diary: The Dentist

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Thursday
14 February 2013
11.51pm

I have faint memories of the dentist in my Primary School.

It was a room somewhere along the corridor and you probably would miss it if you weren’t paying much attention. I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit that, although most people dread going to the dentist, I kind of looked forward to it. Every time a student walked in with a dentist card in hand, I’d go fingers crossed that my name was on that card. At that time, I thought a visit to the dentist was a fresh breath of air to break the monotony of a typical day in class.

Interestingly, of all the friends I've talked to, everyone had horrific memories of dental visits in school. Nobody liked to be called up for check-ups, apparently. It seemed that we all have a mental image of a man dressed in white coat with a white mask over his face, resembling that of a psychopath, with a drill in hand and a weird twitching at the corner of his mouth. I can imagine how hard it would be to wipe away such a mental image, especially when our own parents' faces also usually turn white at the mention of the word - 'dentist'.

When Joey came home last week and told me excitedly that she was called up for her first dental check-up, I knew things were different now.

According to Joey, the dentist is a pretty-looking lady who was nice and smiled a lot. She was kind and gentle, and taught her the right way to brush her teeth. It was a preliminary check, so the dentist only did some basic cleansing for her. She was to be called up again in a couple of days' time, to do filling for some of her teeth. It must have been a really pleasant experience because she couldn't wait for the next dental check-up. She was really called up again two days later, and this time round, the dentist did some filling for her, and reminded her again to take good care of her teeth, brush carefully and thoroughly twice a day.

Joey also came home with a travel kit of toothbrush & toothpaste, which she cherished like a treasure. Ever since the kind dentist lady taught her the correct way to brush her teeth, she had been conscientiously brushing her teeth the correct way, and because of that, brushing teeth is now a full ten-minute affair, complete with the full works (You know - 10 times upwards, 10 times downwards, then move on to the next set of 2 teeth.... blah blah blah). I am sure you would have vague memories of the 'correct' way of brushing teeth too, but the issue is really how many of us are practising it faithfully. =X

There is also a chart that Joey updates faithfully everyday after brushing her teeth. Remember how I shared about how well Joey follows instructions in school? This is another classic example. But of course, I am not complaining. Always good to take care of our teeth.

It turns out that the schools are still using the same old method of calling up students for dental check-ups now! Any student who has had their teeth checked will bring the dental card of the next student back to the class. Looks like some things never change? :P

Read the rest of the entries in Mum's Diary.

Mum's Diary: My Teacher Says.....

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Monday
4 February 2013
12.02pm

I don't know how many of your kids are like mine (I'm hoping all), but Joey and Jayne are both very well behaved and obedient in school. I say that with a tinge of jealousy because they obviously are not like that at home. Well, at least not all the time.

Every meet-the-parents session is a minor shock to me because the teachers would praise the girls to the skies, go on and on about how obedient they are, how well they take instructions, and especially for Joey - How she has great leadership skills and would execute the teacher's instructions to the dot, and would make sure everyone else does too. The first time I heard that, I thought it was common for teachers to be positive about a kid's performance and generally leave out the not-so-good stuffs, but I overheard the teacher's conversation with another kid's parent and realised it was not the case. =P So, it seems like my girls do generally behave well in school - In other words, different from when they are at home.

Something to do with respect for authority? Hard for me to swallow that theory because it only meant that I carried no authority on me. Darn.

Anyway, this manifested even greater now that Joey is in Primary School because everyday after school, I would be screaming and yelling for her to bathe, eat her dinner and take out her homework, in that running order. It can be very frustrating when the girl's eyes are glued to the TV (having been deprived from it the whole day, and out of my MIL's kind-heartedness, had switched it on immediately when she reached home), and the fact that she responds to my (high-pitched, bordering on hysterical) only 20% of the time. After a hard long day at work, that's hardly what I look forward to. I whine to my hubby, "That's my least favourite part of motherhood." and I mean every word.

Then out of the blue some time last week, Joey came home with a look of mission in her eyes and declared as-a-matter-of-factly, that she needed to get started right on her homework because she's got 1 English worksheet and several pages of Maths workbook to complete, plus a full page of sight words which I was supposed to test her on. She announced that she didn't have time for dinner and certainly, no time to bathe at all. She got right into action at the table, forgot about TV and got started on her homework.

I was frankly, impressed for a moment.

Turned out, Joey's Form Teacher had told the kids in class that they have to remember to finish their homework when they get home, because they are all to be handed in the next day. It was a casual passing remark, and possibly just a gentle reminder by her teacher, but to Joey, THOSE WORDS WERE GOLDEN.

And obviously, they weighed much heavier than my incessant daily nagging. Ah well, I'm not exactly complaining. Whatever works. Whatever.

I am perfectly alright if the Form Teacher's words were important to my little girl. But the biggest blow came when she came home another day and did the same because her school's LIBRARIAN told her to do a book review of the books she had borrowed, seeing how she had been an avid borrower and reader so far. That was not even a proper piece of school homework that needed handing in! It was merely a 'CCA' if I could call that - Something for her to do during her leisure time! Yet, she conscientiously did everything she was told.

Seriously, what's the world coming to? My daughter listens to the Form Teacher and the school librarian, but NOT ME?

A phrase that my mum used to use on me jerked right back into memory, "不要把我的話當作耳邊風！"

Whatever you sow, you will surely reap. How true.

Mum's Diary: Peer Pressure

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Monday
28 Jan 2013
10.30pm

Peer pressure is a scary thing.

I remember a period in my life when my friends meant the world to me and I would do absolutely anything just to blend in with my gang of friends. If they were into branded bags, I would follow suit. If they ate at expensive restaurants all the time, that was what I would do too. That happened to me during my secondary school days.

My dad was very relaxed in money matters with me. I could ask him for $50-$100 to buy a new bag every week and there would be no questions asked. At that time, my friends were crazy over ELLE bags and between us, we had every style, shape and pattern of bags produced by that brand. I am definitely not that relaxed in terms of money with my own kids now because easy money is not a good thing. Thankfully, we were not bad kids. In fact, we continued to do well in our studies every year. Our only shortcoming then was our obsession with branded bags and poor management of finances. I outgrew it immediately when I graduated from Secondary School, and since then, I've never been particularly fond of branded stuffs.

Peer pressure used to be part and parcel of teenage life, but things are definitely different now. At Primary One, Joey is already experiencing peer pressure and from the way it's progressing, it's only going to get more and more intense.

She came home one day last week and told us that she wanted to get a chain to connect her wallet to her skirt so that she wouldn't lose her wallet. The chain can be bought from the school bookshop at $1.50 (You see, she's even checked out the price). The main reason why she needed to get it was because ALL HER CLASSMATES HAVE IT. Well, I seriously don't think everyone in her class has got it of course, but since we thought it is quite a useful thing to have, seeing how she always misplaces stuffs, we gave her the money and she went to buy it.

Joey bought it, came home and really excitedly showed it to us. To Joey, it is such a beauty and a bridge between her friends and her - something common they all have. She even said she chose the design with three shades of colour. =.= We obviously have very different tastes.

With the springy connector linking her wallet to her dress now, I dare say she has this air of confidence in her now. There is a skip in her footsteps.

 

 

This might be peer pressure in a mild form. The scariest kind of peer pressure would be that from exam results. I totally understand how that works - As a student, I used to compare results with my friends and if I didn't do as well, I would feel horrible that whole week. Kids have this need to compare to know where they stand. But unless you are always the top student everywhere you go, there are bound to be times when you would get disappointed. While it is important to do the best and get good results, I certainly do not want Joey to have an overly competitive attitude. That would rob away the joy of learning, and make everything seem like a task - Certainly not what I hope to see.

Mum's Diary: That Irritating Boy

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Wednesday
23 Jan 2013
1.05am

I don't know how your Primary School life was, but I remembered mine to be extremely colourful.

Apart from participating in all kinds of ECAs (I was in Science Club and basketball, and was a Brownie), I was also involved in drama performances, story-telling competitions, recitals and all kinds of camps & excursions. I have very fond memories of my Primary School life - It was a time I felt I truly enjoyed school without having to deal with examinations and stress.

A very vital part of Primary School life was of course sweet romance with the favourite boy in my class. My 'boyfriend' and I 'got married' at Primary Three, and we treated our friends to our wedding reception of 10-cent drinks. It was all in the name of fun, nothing too serious - Though we were publicly known to be an 'item' till we graduated from Primary School! I am sure even if you didn't have a wedding reception like me, you would have secretly admired someone from your class or received love notes from your secret admirers. It is hilarious as I recall everything now of course, but it's all part of my growing up. :)

And don't we all have a friend or two who's always poking fun at us, and seemingly disturbing and bullying us at every opportunity? Now that I am grown up, I can see that's just how Primary School kids react when they are fond of a person - The more they like a person, they more they would disturb & bully that person intentionally - To get attention perhaps? I'm sure you know what I mean. =P

And so, Joey has been telling me about this boy called Brandon - a Primary Three prefect, who has been disturbing her all the time. When I heard how she calls him 'irritating', I couldn't help but giggle inside. It's even funnier when she mentioned him three days in a row, albeit all complaints about what he had done and said. Sounds really familiar. =P

I'm not sure I am ready for my girl to grow up so fast (it's only been three weeks since school started!), but at the same time, I feel excited for her. Life is full of interesting things and people, and I can't wait for her to have new encounters and new experiences in life. :)

Since I started this series, I haven't really touched on the academic part of the Primary One journey. The truth is, there really haven't been much homework given yet. In the last three weeks, Joey's come home with homework less than 3 times. I like it that the school is taking it slow and easy - I definitely don't want my girl to be bogged down by tons and tons of homework & assignments.

English spelling and hanyu pinyin spelling have started though. Joey's had no problem with English spelling - she scored full marks easily last week. But hanyu pinyin spelling is new to her, so she got only 16/20 for that spelling. She came home telling me that she was very disappointed because many of her classmates got full marks. Looks like I don't even need to put stress on this girl of mine - she has high expectations of herself. Of course, I had to assure her that marks was not everything and she can always do better the next time round. I have no doubt she will.

The next good thing is that there will be no Examinations for Primary One kids. The teachers would be doing an assessment of every kid in many areas of cognitive and behavioural skills and give a report at the end of the year to the parents. This would continue for the first half of Primary Two, so the first examination that Joey would face would be in Oct/Nov of 2014. Sounds good to me. :)

Read all the posts in this series: Mum's Diary

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Mum's Diary: Loots from The Bookshop

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Saturday
19 Jan 2013
1.51pm

When I tweeted about Joey's 1st day in Primary School, a friend replied saying that soon, I will find all kinds of things from the school bookshop in my house.

True enough.

When I was a little girl, I remembered getting all thrilled and excited over the very pretty stationeries at the bookshop. I wish I could bring home all the rulers, erasers, mechanical pencils and notebooks. Everything was lovely and desirable. I reckon it's the same with my girl now. Except that what she's brought home so far have been less than useful.

She came home on Thursday and announced proudly that she DID NOT buy any green tea that day. I was glad - Finally, she understood what a big waste of money that was?? Then with a big wide grin, she whipped out her prized purchase that day:

A PACKET OF TISSUE PAPER.

Granted, the cartoons were quite cute. But the main reason why Joey bought it was not because it was cute, but because.....

IT SMELLS LIKE GREEN TEA!!!

*faint*

Joey brought the packet of tissues right underneath my nose and insisted that I smell it. It smelt like Jasmine flowers, which I totally dislike. But I can understand why Joey would think it smelt like jasmine green tea. =.=

So which is the lesser evil between the two green tea products that my girl had been spending her money on?

She was feeling extremely pleased with herself that she bought such a wonderful item from the bookshop and got a little offended when I told her it smelt really bad.

"I thought you would like it as much as I do. =( "

oh well. Not when we have hundreds of packets of tissues in our cupboard at home. This is a white elephant, no? Ok, maybe a pretty white elephant. But STILL an elephant.

But of course, I did not tell her that. I tried to retract my words seeing how hurt my little girl was. It was after all a small victory that she managed to overcome the temptation of buying green tea. Surely, that warrants some form of encouragement.

Guess what she came home with on Friday?

A packet of tissue paper that smelt like BAMBOO (Which totally smelt like jasmine flowers to me again, so I suspect the bookshop auntie is not very honest. LOL!)

I wonder when the tissue paper series will end.

Read all the posts in this series: Mum's Diary

Mum's Diary: Money Matters

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Monday
14 Jan 2013
9.54pm

One of the conversations we always have after school everyday would be what she spent her pocket money on that day.

We give Joey $1.20 everyday, along with a bento box of sandwiches or small snacks. It's quite a huge amount of money, considering that she really doesn't need to buy anything at all. On some days, she would splurge on a can of green tea (much to my annoyance, really) because that's one drink she always asks for and we refuse 9 out of 10 times. On other days, she buys a bowl of fishball noodles or a snack.

Tonight she came home and told us something that completely shocked us. We noticed that all her money was gone from her purse, and asked her to explain what she bought. Turned out her friend wanted to buy a bowl of noodles and didn't have enough money, so asked her for some money! In her own words, she was very worried that her friend would go hungry, so she gave her some money and ended up not having enough money to buy a can of green tea that she wanted, so she went to borrow money from her teacher! I nearly flipped. Why would Primary One kids know how to do such things?!

Turned out, many of the children in her class had borrowed money from the teacher, so to Joey, it was very okay to do so. I was so shocked to hear that that I immediately sent a message to her Form Teacher to clarify. Joey's teacher explained that because some of the parents forgot to give pocket money to the kids, she had been giving money to them whenever they ask, but they will always return the next day. And Joey did borrow 40 cents from her that day to buy a can of drink. I mean, I can understand if it was a genuine case where the kid was hungry and needed to eat something really badly. But to give money to a kid to buy a drink when she has a huge water bottle?! So I told the teacher never to give money to Joey again as she would always bring food to school for recess. Thankfully, the teacher understood my concerns and explained that because the kids are still young and cannot understand the concept of wise spending yet, she is slowly teach them as time goes by. I certainly hope so! I put myself in her shoes and think I would also help the kids if they come to me and say they are hungry and have no money!

This is the third week since school started, and it appears to me that Joey has been learning a lot more life skills and survival skills than academics. While the focus has been on academic performance right from the beginning, I have now realised that there are truly a lot more things in life than getting good grades. Things like peer pressure, social norms, friendships, loyalty and making choices have all come into play in Joey's life and her previously-simple life is now no longer simple and innocent. Money is obviously a huge area that the kids are learning to grapple with now. Many of them are still struggling with counting money and knowing if they have enough coins to buy that bowl of noodles at recess time. It must be pretty stressful.

I think deciding on the amount of pocket money to give to our kids is an art. Since the beginning, we've been making adjustments and changes along the way, and we will continue to do so. I'm praying that Joey will get better and better at managing her finances. That is such an important skill to acquire in life.

Mum's Diary: It Gets Better

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Thursday
9 Jan 2013
9.05pm

Week 2 of Primary One life saw a bigger glimpse of light for Joey.

I tried drilling into her what she should do when she reaches school on Monday. I told her to go straight to the school hall after alighting from the school bus, and sit in the hall to do her silent reading until the Assembly starts. That was what her Form Teacher advised me to get her to do, and I reckon it's safer to stay close to the school hall rather than hang around somewhere else, not knowing when exactly will school start.

When Joey reached home on Monday evening, she said that the school hall was occupied when she arrived, so she decided to go to the General Office (again!!!) to ask what time should she be in the school hall even though I've told her umpteen times. Then she went to sit in the canteen and read her book until the school bell rang. Many kids started rushing to the school hall then, and she followed everyone. Her account was funny though when I asked if she was scared when she saw that the school was occupied and she couldn't wait inside - "I was scared, and I cried a little. But I dried my tears before going to the General Office to ask." I thought that was an improvement at least. :)

With the little victory on Monday, Joey was visibly more confident on Tuesday. I had a night meeting on Tuesday, so I called her from office when she got back home and we spent 15 minutes on the phone, 95% monologue. She excitedly told me how she DID NOT EVEN DROP A TEAR in school that day, and that she walked to the school hall with her friend 5 minutes before the bell rang so that she didn't need to rush like the rest of the students. =.= The more interesting story happened during recess time. She and two other girls wanted to go to the library after having their snack and this (in her own words, silly boy) boy called Johnson wanted to follow them. Because they didn't want him to follow them, Joey instructed him to go to the toilet first (Joey: "Teacher says must always go to the toilet during recess time, and he hasn't gone yet!!!"). When he went to the toilet, the girls giggled and ran all the way to the library because they didn't want him to follow them. Sigh, ostracizing happens so early?! I had to give her an impromptu prep talk on how we should always be nice and not ostracize anyone in school. I got to know later that the 'silly boy' Johnson is actually the monitor in class!

Rule #1: Make friends with everyone in the class. Golden Rule #1: Never offend the class monitor. My girl needs to learn how this world works like seriously.

Today is Wednesday and school starts an hour late. I received a phone call at about 12.30pm from an unfamiliar land line, and I got nervous because it looked like a Woodlands number. In that 2 seconds before I picked up the call, I wondered if it was Joey using the phone in the General Office (her favourite and most frequented place in school obviously) to call me. Please don't let that happen again, thankyouverymuch.

Her first words were, 'Hello mummy, this is Joey! I just called to ask whether you are having a good day at work?" That sounded totally like what I would say when I call her from work. Having the same words spoken back to me felt really nice. Haha! But of course, it was way too suspicious for me to indulge in the warm fuzzy feelings for too long. I asked her how come she could call me and whose phone was it? Apparently, there were phones outside the school hall for the kids to use, and many kids were taking turns to call their mums! I didn't know schools have such service nowadays?! It sure made my day hearing my chirpy and happy girl's voice right before lunch. And yep, I sure had a good day at work today. :)

Reality (the harsher part of it) kicked in when she handed me her spelling list for next week when I got home, and also her first piece of homework! It was a really simple matching exercise of animals and the sound they make. I am glad the school is taking it slow, and not stressing out the kids. I've heard from other mums whose kids received 2 homework assignments and a spelling list on the third day of school! Please, please. Let my kid enjoy her childhood a little more. And don't stress the parents (me) out too early too fast.

It gets better and better. Now that Joey has learnt how to cope with her circumstances, I would really like to see her taking a proactive approach to making her Primary school life more enjoyable. We'll see. :)

Read also - Mum's Diary: A Nervous Start to Primary One

Linking up:

Mum's Diary: A Nervous Start To Primary One

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Sunday
6 Jan 2013
9.45pm

I  admit I might have overestimated Joey's ability to adjust to Primary One life.

Joey has never been a shy girl, and would usually be bold enough to ask questions or clarify her doubts even with strangers. So, I had confidence that she would be able to breeze through her Primary One honeymoon period. Turned out, she was super stressed up by this transition in her life.

My focus was mainly on whether she'd be able to understand what her teacher was teaching in class and if she would know how to buy food during recess time, etc. I totally neglected the fact that there are many other aspects of Primary school life that she needed to get used to. Those were the very things that stressed her out so badly!

She takes the school bus to school, and because of that, she reaches school 30-45 minutes before assembly everyday. On the first day, there was a saga and the school bus didn't pick Joey (and many other kids as well), so the company sent a private MPV to pick her up 45minutes after the scheduled timing. Upon reaching the school, there were prefects to guide her to the school hall for assembly, so that was alright.

On the second day of school, Joey took the school bus on time and reached school really early. Perhaps because it was still early, there were no prefects in sight at all. Joey was new to the school and she didn't know her way around at all! She wondered around till she found the canteen and sat there feeling very helpless. It was made worse because she can't read her watch very well yet, so she didn't know when she should go to the school hall, and where the school hall was. In the end, she did manage to ask a teacher and was escorted to the school hall.

This experience traumatised her really bad, even though she only briefly mentioned it when she reached home that day. When I asked her how was school, she gave her usual diplomatic answer, 'Good!'.

The next day, she went to school as usual but because she was still unsure where to go, she went to the General Office and asked the staff to call me, saying she's feeling unwell and wanted to vomit. When I rushed to her school, I realised she looked alright even though she kept saying her tummy felt weird. I suspected it must be a psychological ailment, and after talking it through with her, she poured out all her fears and anxieties. She was crying so hard that it broke my heart. I may know that my girl is timid and scared when it comes to such things, but still, seeing her breakdown like that was very hard to bear.

I thank God that Joey's Form Teacher is a very nice lady who addressed all the concerns I had. I messaged her and clarified about where Joey was supposed to go everyday upon reaching school, etc. I went through the whole process with Joey many times to make sure that she knew exactly what to do when she reached school. Perhaps because it's a brand new environment to her, she felt very intimidated and fearless, and her usual inquisitive self didn't help at all. I reassured her over and over again that there was nothing to worry about at all, and that in case she gets lost or unsure of what to do, just approach any teacher or adult in school and ask for help. I also told her that it is normal and reasonable to feel helpless and scared, but running away from the problem won't help. Part of growing up is learning to overcome a problem and a fear, and she will become braver and stronger after that. I really hope she can grasp that concept.

The emotional outburst happened again tonight when she recalled how traumatic it was the previous week. The whole reassurance process had to be repeated, and lots of hugs given before she stopped crying and went to bed. It was emotionally draining, and frankly, it didn't occur to me that it would be this hard.

I am wondering if my girl is more emotional by nature, because I don't remember other friends who had kids who went through such emotions when they started Primary school. In any case, I do believe that this is only a passing phase, and that Joey will get braver and more confident as the days go by. Week 2 of school starts tomorrow and fingers-crossed, everything will be easier for Joey. The last thing I want is for going to be school to be a stressful and scary event for her. Joey, FIGHTING!