Mum's Diary: Money Matters

Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)

Monday
14 Jan 2013
9.54pm

One of the conversations we always have after school everyday would be what she spent her pocket money on that day.

We give Joey $1.20 everyday, along with a bento box of sandwiches or small snacks. It's quite a huge amount of money, considering that she really doesn't need to buy anything at all. On some days, she would splurge on a can of green tea (much to my annoyance, really) because that's one drink she always asks for and we refuse 9 out of 10 times. On other days, she buys a bowl of fishball noodles or a snack.

Tonight she came home and told us something that completely shocked us. We noticed that all her money was gone from her purse, and asked her to explain what she bought. Turned out her friend wanted to buy a bowl of noodles and didn't have enough money, so asked her for some money! In her own words, she was very worried that her friend would go hungry, so she gave her some money and ended up not having enough money to buy a can of green tea that she wanted, so she went to borrow money from her teacher! I nearly flipped. Why would Primary One kids know how to do such things?!

Turned out, many of the children in her class had borrowed money from the teacher, so to Joey, it was very okay to do so. I was so shocked to hear that that I immediately sent a message to her Form Teacher to clarify. Joey's teacher explained that because some of the parents forgot to give pocket money to the kids, she had been giving money to them whenever they ask, but they will always return the next day. And Joey did borrow 40 cents from her that day to buy a can of drink. I mean, I can understand if it was a genuine case where the kid was hungry and needed to eat something really badly. But to give money to a kid to buy a drink when she has a huge water bottle?! So I told the teacher never to give money to Joey again as she would always bring food to school for recess. Thankfully, the teacher understood my concerns and explained that because the kids are still young and cannot understand the concept of wise spending yet, she is slowly teach them as time goes by. I certainly hope so! I put myself in her shoes and think I would also help the kids if they come to me and say they are hungry and have no money!

This is the third week since school started, and it appears to me that Joey has been learning a lot more life skills and survival skills than academics. While the focus has been on academic performance right from the beginning, I have now realised that there are truly a lot more things in life than getting good grades. Things like peer pressure, social norms, friendships, loyalty and making choices have all come into play in Joey's life and her previously-simple life is now no longer simple and innocent. Money is obviously a huge area that the kids are learning to grapple with now. Many of them are still struggling with counting money and knowing if they have enough coins to buy that bowl of noodles at recess time. It must be pretty stressful.

I think deciding on the amount of pocket money to give to our kids is an art. Since the beginning, we've been making adjustments and changes along the way, and we will continue to do so. I'm praying that Joey will get better and better at managing her finances. That is such an important skill to acquire in life.