So, it’s finally my turn to experience the PSLE fever this year, and funny why I would refer it as “my turn” when I am not even the one taking the exams. =P
The most common question I’ve been asked this year has been, “Are you stressed?” and frankly speaking, I have not really been feeling the heat so far. We are rather chill parents and it probably helps that Joey has always been a conscientious and self-motivated kid when it comes to studying, so I can trust her to revise on her own. I still fulfil the usual mom duty by printing practice papers for her to do, encouraging her and praying for her, but let’s face it – Ultimately, she’s the one who will be walking into the exam hall and taking those papers. Her results will determine which Secondary School she will get into and that would probably play a big part in her future career choices as well. But the truth remains - It’s her life. It may sound a little too heck-care and nonchalant, but we cannot deny it, can we?
OK I got to admit – There were moments in the past year when I had sudden panic attacks – “Are we too relaxed?? Did I let Joey practise enough?? Every kid is in some form of tuition, enrichment or PSLE-prep class but not Joey – HOW??! Is it too late to send her for some classes now??”
I guess we would never know whether our decision of not sending her to any tuition classes is right, but it was something we believed in and chose to stick by it, even when her grades dipped a little when she was in Primary 5. Still, there were many other great achievements we could celebrate her for, and that was good enough for us.
Recently, Joey received her results for Prelims exams. Of course, the results wouldn’t affect the PSLE scores at all, but there was an unspoken message that it would be a rough gauge of where the kid stands. Typically, the schools would set really tough papers so as to challenge the high achievers and also to wake up those who are falling below the bar to study harder for the upcoming PSLE. I had expected Joey to do average because we didn’t exactly revise before the papers, but to my pleasant surprise, she came back with really good results. While I was really happy when I saw her marks and I told her so, deep in my heart there was a nagging thought – “What if she becomes complacent and stops studying for PSLE? Would that be worse-off? It might have been better if she did badly and start studying really hard!” Very typical mom, right?
But immediately, I felt the Holy Spirit remind me – “Why would you think that fear is a better motivator than faith? Why wouldn’t you think that it’s better for Joey to step into the exam hall with confidence that she can do well than to go trembling and worrying that she would do badly?” Suddenly, it all made sense to me – My thinking had been so warped and twisted!
Doing well in an examination right before the PSLE would have given her the confidence and assurance that she knows her stuff and she can walk into that exam hall with faith in her heart and a smile on her face, knowing that she is well-prepared! Why would I think otherwise??!
So I am changing the things I say to Joey now – Instead of reminding her not to let her guard down and revise again and again, I have been telling her that she is good enough and well prepared, and she just needs to keep that momentum and she will be fine. Whether or not the results turn out the way we hope it will be, we leave everything in the hands of God. The last thing I want is for my child to feel that I equate her worth to a mere PSLE score. That may be what the school or society is telling her, but at least in my house, she must be assured of her worth and value, which goes way beyond all these.
It’s 14 days to the first PSLE paper, and I wish every mom in the same situation as me this year, a calm heart and peace of mind. Let’s be moms who believe in our kids and who they can become in life! :)
