I Think I Am Mad

I seriously think I am.

For the past few nights, I’ve been waking up for toilet trips in the middle of the night, and the first thought that came to my mind when I woke up would always be, ‘Am I having contractions now??’

Very weird, I know. That’s how I know I am quite mad.

I’ve actually been imagining myself going into labor in the middle of the night, though that ought to be the last thing to happen. Quite frankly, I don’t really know how contractions feel like even though this is my 2nd pregnancy. People have told me that they feel like tightening of the tummy at regular intervals, not necessarily painful, but obvious enough to let you know it’s not regular stomach cramps or aches.

For my first pregnancy, I had induced labor, meaning I practically had no contractions whatsoever, until pretty advanced in my pregnancy, and I had to inject something to induce the labor. Even the machine tells me that there are contractions on-going and at some points pretty strong, I didn’t even feel them. And the cowardly me requested for epidural pretty early so that I can avoid the real pain kicking in. By the time epidural got into my system, I could feel NOTHING already.

And so, I have been thinking that I will not know I am going into labor unless something dramatic happens like, water bag bursts, or if there’s a ‘show’. Haha… But of course, as far as possible, I pray that none of these will happen and I can last till my C-section operation on 21 May with no complications at all.