What If ….

It absolutely freaked me out yesterday when this thought suddenly creeped up to me: WHAT IF JOEY DOESN’T FEEL CLOSE TO ME ANYMORE?

You must understand that I’m not whining. You see, Joey goes to school everyday, and in the morning after she woke up and before she goes to school, I’m usually sleeping. That’s because Baby Jayne usually wakes up around 630am for a feed, and by the time Joey wakes up around 7.15am, I have finished feeding and has gone back to sleep. My mum-in-law is the one who gets her ready for school, and Isaiah fetches her to school before going to work himself.

Joey also sleeps with my mum-in-law’s room, and so every night, she’ll be the one putting her to sleep. Usually, the pre-sleeping routines of watching cartoons or reading bedtime stories are all done by my mum in law. It used to me and my mum-in-law taking turns to do it last time, but now with Jayne around, I spend a lot more time with her instead.

The only time I spend with Joey is probably the one or two hours after she comes back from school, eats dinner and before she heads into the bedroom for her cartoons. And even so, I don’t get to spend one-on-one time with her because in between, I  got to take care of Jayne (& watch my favorite drama on TV =P).

So, that explains why I suddenly thought that my Joey may lose her love for me as her mummy because I haven’t been spending much time with her as compared to last time.

I am very thankful that my mum-in-law is standing in the gap to provide the love for Joey while my attention is diverted to Jayne for this period of time. At least I know Joey will still experience and receive love and care from a close family member. But of course, I don’t ever want my mum-in-law to take my place as a mum to my kid, so I have to make effort in this area to fulfill my duties as a mum to Joey.

This is probably the transitional period, since Baby Jayne is still an infant and needs alot of care and attention. But I got to start thinking of way to spend quality time with Joey so that I don’t lose out on her growing up years…… Just thinking… :)