Giving My Best To Them

Every parent wants to give their best to their kids. It’s part of our DNA and our innate instinct. I don’t think any mum or dad in this world deliberately want to make their kids’ lives miserable.

Triggered off this thought because I was chatting with a friend on MSN today and she shared with me about how pressurized she felt about choosing the right preschool for her kid. Everyone around her has been telling her that the quality of the preschool is often indicated by the price you pay for it, thus the more expensive the school fees, the better the school. And as a mum, she is made to feel that if she chooses a lower-end school for her kid, she is not being a good mum because she is not giving her kid the ‘BEST’.

But ‘BEST’ is a relative word. It carries different meaning to different ones.

My friend does not come from a rich family, and like most young couples who have to support all the household expenses and debts to clear, finances is often something that has to be thought through and planned for carefully. It is no wonder she feels the peer pressure because a high-end preschool can come with a hefty price tag of more than $1K every month. On top of that, everyone is sending their kids for different enrichment classes and interest & skill classes. Every class comes with a price to pay.

I can totally understand how my friend feels because my family is also an average family. While I also want the best for my kids, I know I have to live within my means. And that simply means, to the best of my ability, I will give my kids the best. Even though that may mean I can only send my kids to a middle-range preschool, and I have to choose between different enrichment classes instead of going for every single one of them, it still is the BEST I can provide for them. If my budget doesn’t allow, I simply don’t send my kids to any enrichment classes. It doesn’t give them golden wings or anything like that, right? No big deal. It doesn’t mean I am a lesser parent in any way.

I don’t have to buy the most expensive stroller or cot for my baby to show that I am a good mum. I don’t have to buy the most expensive brand of diapers just to prove that I am a good mum. My kids don’t have to be decked out in branded clothes all the time just to show that I am a good mum. None of those proves anything substantial.

And so I told my friend not to be pressurized into making decisions that would add on unnecessary stress to their lives. Financial stress is often a major source of disagreement and fights in a family and between a married couple. Within our means, just do our best. It becomes totally meaningless if we have to keep comparing ourselves with others and feel guilty or dissatisfied everyday because there will always be someone out there who has done better than us.

Having said that, I do believe that I will not labor in vain, and that I will only become richer and richer and more prosperous with each passing year. And when I have more finances, I just give my kids better and better stuffs. But for my level now, I just live within my means and give the best I can. That’s the guiding principle in this area of my life. :)