It Actually Made It Easier

I never imagined it would turn out to be like this.

Before I took the plunge, I mentally prepared myself over and over again, stood in front of the mirror and psycho-ed myself into believing and visualising that everything’s gonna be alright. I had to make it work. I had no other choice.

I’m talking about having a second kid.

Quite frankly, while I might be quite happy with having only one child, I know I would not be able to live with this decision when I face Joey when she grows up. I had fun growing up with my little brother, and it was definitely something I wanted my girl to experience - Siblinghood. And so, having a 2nd kid was not exactly a choice I had to make. It was simply something I had to do. The reluctance was not because I don’t like kids. It’s only because I know how tiring it is to take care of kids and for me to let go of some little freedom I got back since Joey became more independent, it was a tough call. It was quite hard to imagine having to split myself into two to take care of 2 kiddos, when one was more than enough to tear me into mini pieces.

So, I am actually amazed to be able to say today that it has not turned out to be as bad as I imagined it to be. Ironically, and definitely unexpectedly, having a second kid made motherhood seem like chicken feet all of a sudden. When logically, it ought to  be the other way round, isn’t it?

Double the number of kids naturally translate to double the amount of work to do, double amount of attention to be given, and double portion of freedom lost. But surprisingly, I feel like a happier mother now compared to 3 years ago when I first became one.

This realization came upon me out of the blue one day. I wasn’t exactly thinking or pondering about anything in particular, but the thought just suddenly filled my mind – This is not that hard after all. And I remember smiling at that thought.

After Baby Jayne was born, I had been bowed over and over again by how sensible Joey is. Barely three years old, and with no prior experience as an elder sister, she is sure doing an excellent job. Not only does she love Baby Jayne, she has on many occasions, shown me what a selfless girl she is.

Joey is at the stage now where she is very attention-seeking and craves for companionship all the time. She’s always asking me to read her stories, do colouring or play some games with her. She doesn’t like to be left alone and always wants someone by her side. But when Baby Jayne needs me more (like when she starts to cry or needs to be patted to sleep at night), she would ask me to take care of her mei mei and she would watch TV or play some little games all on her own, sometimes for as long as over an hour! I am especially touched when she knows her sister is in the other bedroom alone and tells me, ‘Jayne is alone in the room.. no one is accompanying her.. you must go and see her…’ Isn’t she one amazing kid?

I am glad I decided to have a second kid. I really am. :)