Favoritism Is Destructive

Ever since Baby Jayne was born, I had been very aware of the thing called favoritism.

Babies are cute and adorable and inevitably attract lots of attention, and kids are especially sensitive when it comes to stuffs like these. Joey used to be the only child in the family, doted upon by everyone. But when Baby Jayne came along, the attention and focus naturally got shared. It was no short of a miracle that Joey still adores Baby Jayne so much.

 

But Joey’s adoration for Baby Jayne cannot be taken for granted. It does not thus mean that she will let her little sister have everything. She guards her identity as the elder sister fiercely, and we have to tread carefully in order not to make her feel that her position is threatened.

For example, when Isaiah comes home from work and carries Baby Jayne first, she will go, ‘Why you never carry me first?’ and sulk. To her, she is the first child and the elder sister and therefore should enjoy all the benefits. So now, Isaiah will make a conscious effort to always greet and carry Joey first when he comes home.

It is scary how sensitive kids are nowadays. Seriously, we were nothing like that when we were kids. All I cared about were my Barbie dolls.

Just last weekend when I brought my kids home to visit my parents, my father saw Baby Jayne at the door and immediately called her lovingly, ‘Yixin ah……’ and went on to carry her with a huge grin without looking once at Joey. Joey, saw everything, and just stepped into the house mumbling something. There and then, my heart almost broke. I quickly went to carry Joey and entertain her so that she won’t dwell on the issue. I could almost feel her disappointment – Before Baby Jayne came along, my dad would do the same kind of welcome for her! Now, it’s only for mei mei! =X

I can’t blame my dad of course.. Baby Jayne is really adorable and super smiley. She doesn’t scream for attention and as long as you’re carrying her, she’ll be obedient and still. Joey, on the other hand, is at the age where she’s very attention-seeking, loud and hyperactive. He is from the older generation and has almost no awareness of this thing called ‘playing favoritism’ although he has subtly started showing it.

Later when Joey wasn’t looking, I told my dad how Joey reacted and he was amused! He seriously didn’t think children would be so sensitive. The truth is, even though they may not say it out, they have lots of thoughts within them. And most of the time, their understanding is very superficial – It’s determined simply by what they see. Then I made my dad promise me that he will always greet Joey first in future. It’s important to me!! I want my kids to grow up feeling secure and loved, not worrying that they will lose the love of their family to anything in this world!

So my friends, if you’re reading this and guilty of paying attention only to Baby Jayne and neglects Joey’s presence, PLEASE STOP IT. In my eyes, both are equally adorable, smart and beautiful! Both of them deserves the best. =)