Kids are the most innocent and say the darnest things. What’s hard for us to swallow sometimes is how honest their comments are. It’s scary how kids always see through us, and say things that most adults dare not even mention.
Just yesterday, Joey brought me a storybook as usual close to her bedtime, and asked me to read to her. I was busy attending to some urgent work matters, and I really hate to pull my concentration away from it, and lose all my thoughts, but because I haven’t been spending much time with her the whole day, I was very happy to be able to read her a story and just bond with her. So, I gave her a big smile and asked her to sit on my lap.
Joey sat on my lap, and said, “Mummy, today you are not angry.”
I know perfectly well why she said that. There were many times when I was rushing my work, and she came along to ask me to read her stories, and I would refuse and tell her not to disturb me. She must have caught my frustration each and every time.
Pretty sad to know that. In her eyes, she must be thinking that I am a very angry mummy, who’s always angry at her. :(
Of course, I try to spend time doing activities with her whenever I can, so that I can talk to her and do something together. But, sometimes when I feel too tired or frustrated, I lose my patience, and that goes straight to the kid.
That incident jerked me right from my attitude.
I need to put my kids as my first priority. They love spending time with me and the least I could do is to give them my time and attention. It’s not like I am totally not doing that now, but I really ought to do much more. I need to invest in my kids. Showing them my frustrations will only confuse them further. In their minds, they may wonder what made their mummy angry. Was it them? And if they really thought that way, why am I inflicting such unnecessary stress on their little minds???!
The truth is, God has given me these lives, and I have been given the authority and responsibility to nurture them and raise them in the Fear of the Lord, teaching them how to be good and faithful people. I must treasure each and every minute of their lives, and give them my best. The last thing I want is to be overwhelmed by the demands of my work and my personal agenda and neglect the needs of my precious ones.
It is of course naive to think that I can spend all my time with my kids, but as far as possible, I want to do the best I can. I am after all human, and to ask me not to ever lose my temper and patience is impossible. I am just working on keeping that to a bare minimum and deal with my kids’ nonsense and tantrums with an easier heart and a smile.
Parenthood is a steep learning curve. I wish I knew everything, but even after 4 years, I don’t. I am learning to be a better mummy everyday and I hope that my kids can sense my efforts. While I am trying, I pray for God’s grace on me and special grace on my kids to understand their mummy..
In the meantime, I just keep doing as best as I know how.
请为我加油吧!
