Being a mother turns time into a very complicated issue.
On a daily basis, I am faced with kids who need me to take care of their every need and attend to their every whimper that sometimes, I silently wish that time would pass faster, and they would grow up faster. Kind of like fast forward to their Secondary School days when I do not need to monitor their schoolwork anymore or nag at them to eat their dinner faster. I even fantasized that I would go for long holidays just with hubby to relive our younger days where we had so much freedom!
But on some days, I pause and think about my journey as a mother thus far, and I get amazed at how fast time has passed by. Before I know it, I’ve been a mother for more than 5 years! Now seriously, where did all the years go to??
From time to time, I think about those times when I was pregnant, when the babies were born, how I went though my two confinements and the first day I went back to work after my maternity leave.. It was a really complicated kind of mixed emotions. It felt like it happened soooo long ago, yet it also felt like it was only yesterday. Such an amazing feeling. Nostalgia mixed with a sense of expectancy.
Joey is my firstborn, and she will always hold a special place in my heart. Because of her, I was made a mother, and she gave me so many ‘first experiences’ and new emotions. I never knew I could become the mother I am today, and I am immensely proud of her. She is a smart girl who has a good understanding of many things happening around us, and she has a keen sense of perception and a sensitive mind. I always look Joey in hers eyes and tell her that she is such a beautiful girl, and I wonder when has my daughter grown so big??? I really, really mean it when I said that.
Baby Jayne is another great joy in my life. I have never met a girl who’s as optimistic, happy, jovial, funny and interesting as her. She smiles and sings all day long, does funny things like walking around the house carrying 5 handbags, 1 haversack, 3 hairbands and 5 bangles, and loves to imitate me worship-leading in cell group meetings. She makes me laugh almost every other minute. Especially after she started talking in sentences, she would ask very sensible questions that make you want to grab her in a tight hug, and chat with her late into the night. She is one amazing two-year-old and I see her as an angel that God has sent into my life.
Many friends tell me to treasure and enjoy the children while they are still young, because before you realise it, they are all grown up and would focus more on their friends then. I believe in that too. So while I sometimes get suffocated in the monotony of motherhood, and drowned in the noise my kids make, I remind myself that these days don’t last forever. There will come a day when they will be all grown up, and I will miss their whining, hearty laughter and loud noises. I want to treasure their growing up days, and enjoy my motherhood the best I know how. =)
