Incoherent Ramblings

Having 2 kids makes a lot of room for guilt to creep in.

There is of course the guilt of neglecting the elder child because I now have to focus on the younger & more needy one. Especially when Joey is in school the whole day, and when she is finally home by night and brings me a story book or coloring book and all I could say to her is, ‘Sorry baby, mummy needs to take care of mei mei first.’ (somebody slap me please.) I do try to feed Jayne in the evening before Joey reaches home so that I can spend some quality time with Joey when Jayne is asleep, but it does not always work out well that way.

Joey’s wearing a very big pair of shoes as an elder sister. She needs to be understanding & accommodating whenever her sister needs the mummy more. She needs to learn how to play by herself and entertain herself when Mummy’s too busy to play with her. She needs to bathe herself and put on her own clothes when mummy’s carrying the sister. So far, I am proud to say that she has done such an incredible job as an elder sister. Her love for her sister is just amazing.

Then there is also a guilt associated with the younger child. Since it’s my 2nd time round going through the whole rut again, many things do not appear fascinating to me anymore. I read back Joey’s old blog entries and I was amused at the smallest details I blogged about then. I would rave at how Joey first smiled at me, how she flipped over for the first time, etc etc. Now, for number 2, these topics do not seem exciting enough for me to blog about anymore.

I remembered for Joey, I bought tons and tons of beautiful & pretty clothes, accessories, shoes, hair clips every other week. For Jayne, she’s wearing a lot of Joey’s hand-me-downs and I don’t think I’ve bought more than 5 pieces of clothing for Jayne yet. Sigh.

I hope it’s the same with every parent with multiple number of kids, so that I am not the only loser around.

This is probably a bad time for me to conclude anything, but I really do think that two is enough. (Until I feel up to it again! Haha!)