Transiting to Primary One is a big deal for kids. It's the beginning of formal education in Singapore and for many of the kids, it's their first encounter with serious and intensive studying. Apart from the kid feeling the stress and heat, the parents usually get stressed up and nervous as well, especially if it's the first time for them. I started this series to document the chronological order of events, my intimate thoughts and emotions on this journey, and it will continue until Joey settles down in Primary One. Hopefully, as we go along, the posts would become more and more positive and encouraging. I do believe in that. :)
Sunday
6 Jan 2013
9.45pm
I admit I might have overestimated Joey's ability to adjust to Primary One life.
Joey has never been a shy girl, and would usually be bold enough to ask questions or clarify her doubts even with strangers. So, I had confidence that she would be able to breeze through her Primary One honeymoon period. Turned out, she was super stressed up by this transition in her life.
My focus was mainly on whether she'd be able to understand what her teacher was teaching in class and if she would know how to buy food during recess time, etc. I totally neglected the fact that there are many other aspects of Primary school life that she needed to get used to. Those were the very things that stressed her out so badly!
She takes the school bus to school, and because of that, she reaches school 30-45 minutes before assembly everyday. On the first day, there was a saga and the school bus didn't pick Joey (and many other kids as well), so the company sent a private MPV to pick her up 45minutes after the scheduled timing. Upon reaching the school, there were prefects to guide her to the school hall for assembly, so that was alright.
On the second day of school, Joey took the school bus on time and reached school really early. Perhaps because it was still early, there were no prefects in sight at all. Joey was new to the school and she didn't know her way around at all! She wondered around till she found the canteen and sat there feeling very helpless. It was made worse because she can't read her watch very well yet, so she didn't know when she should go to the school hall, and where the school hall was. In the end, she did manage to ask a teacher and was escorted to the school hall.
This experience traumatised her really bad, even though she only briefly mentioned it when she reached home that day. When I asked her how was school, she gave her usual diplomatic answer, 'Good!'.
The next day, she went to school as usual but because she was still unsure where to go, she went to the General Office and asked the staff to call me, saying she's feeling unwell and wanted to vomit. When I rushed to her school, I realised she looked alright even though she kept saying her tummy felt weird. I suspected it must be a psychological ailment, and after talking it through with her, she poured out all her fears and anxieties. She was crying so hard that it broke my heart. I may know that my girl is timid and scared when it comes to such things, but still, seeing her breakdown like that was very hard to bear.
I thank God that Joey's Form Teacher is a very nice lady who addressed all the concerns I had. I messaged her and clarified about where Joey was supposed to go everyday upon reaching school, etc. I went through the whole process with Joey many times to make sure that she knew exactly what to do when she reached school. Perhaps because it's a brand new environment to her, she felt very intimidated and fearless, and her usual inquisitive self didn't help at all. I reassured her over and over again that there was nothing to worry about at all, and that in case she gets lost or unsure of what to do, just approach any teacher or adult in school and ask for help. I also told her that it is normal and reasonable to feel helpless and scared, but running away from the problem won't help. Part of growing up is learning to overcome a problem and a fear, and she will become braver and stronger after that. I really hope she can grasp that concept.
The emotional outburst happened again tonight when she recalled how traumatic it was the previous week. The whole reassurance process had to be repeated, and lots of hugs given before she stopped crying and went to bed. It was emotionally draining, and frankly, it didn't occur to me that it would be this hard.
I am wondering if my girl is more emotional by nature, because I don't remember other friends who had kids who went through such emotions when they started Primary school. In any case, I do believe that this is only a passing phase, and that Joey will get braver and more confident as the days go by. Week 2 of school starts tomorrow and fingers-crossed, everything will be easier for Joey. The last thing I want is for going to be school to be a stressful and scary event for her. Joey, FIGHTING!
