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Growing up, my mom has always been someone I could count on. She was a good listener and I would pour out my heart to her every time I faced a problem or difficulty in life. Even though she might not always tell me exactly what to do, there were certain advice that she gave me that stuck to me through the years. They shaped many of the important decisions I made in life and made me who I am today. This Mother’s Day, I’m going to share five golden nuggets of advice she has given me. So here goes – 5 Things #MyMumSays:
1. #MyMumSays: “Get Married Young!”
I know this is probably not the trend among the young people nowadays but this is one piece of advice I always give to my friends. I got married at 24 and enjoyed every minute of my married life. My mom used to tell me that getting married young would give us time to get to know each other as husband and wife before plunging into parenthood, which would turn our world upside down. Couples who marry late often carry the burden of the need to have kids quickly because of their age, and miss the opportunity for romance in the initial years of marriage. In her own words, “Stable already, quickly get married la! Wait so long for what?” I’m glad I took my mom’s advice! =D
2. #MyMumSays, “Don’t Stop At One. Have More!”
You probably know by now why I have two kids. Mum used to tell me that a single child is lonely and in her own words - “Very poor thing!” So after I had Joey, she told me to start planning for a second kid and not wait for too long. I have a younger brother myself, and even though we bickered while growing up, I am extremely glad that I have a sibling. It hit me especially hard when our dad passed away two years ago from cancer. I was glad that I have a brother to share the burden and grief with, and someone who understood what I was going through.
3. #MyMumSays, “Be the Owner Of Your Home!”
My parents were Malaysians and they came to Singapore after they got married in 1977. My mom’s dream was simple – own a four-room flat, to give us stability and a cosy home. After 13 years of renting and moving about, she finally realized her dream and bought her home in 1991, after receiving Singapore citizenship. Ever since then, mom never stopped reminding me to buy my own home. She would always say, “It’s so much easier for you guys now – got CPF to help you what!”
I remember feeling really glad that we could buy our flat and pay off the mortgage using funds from our CPF, because preparing for the wedding almost wiped out our savings. I felt silly for grumbling about the monthly CPF contributions because that was the very fund that helped me get my own home!
4. #MyMumSays, “Save For The Future!”
When I just started out in the working world after graduating from the University, I was like every young adult on the streets – splurging on expensive meals, hanging out with friends every night and buying clothes, cosmetics, bags and shoes at my fancy. I would use up my entire month’s salary before the month was up and felt very miserable until the next pay day. My mom knew this and stepped in to tell me that while I didn’t have much burdens or cares at that point in my life, I must think for my future and be prepared for it. She reminded me of the importance of being prudent and to cultivate the good habit of saving.
Now that I am a mom of two kids, I have to be the steward of my family’s finances. When I make big decisions such as buying a new house, there are many more considerations I have to take into account. I used to think that it was good to pay for the entire house mortgage using my CPF so that I have more cash flow on hand., However, as I understood CPF’s schemes better, I realized that apart from ensuring that my housing is paid for, I should also start thinking about my retirement plans. If I use up all the funds in my Ordinary Account to pay for my house, I would be left with nothing in my retirement portfolio! That didn’t sound half as scary when I was in my twenties but as I am approaching my forties, it sure sounds daunting! And I’m glad my mom prepared me mentally for this., “Girl ah, we women must learn to plan for our future. We cannot think of relying totally on our husbands!” That always made me laugh.
With escalating healthcare costs, I also started to realize the importance of ensuring that when the need arises, all the expenses will be taken care of. When I was advised by my financial advisor a few years ago that I could pay for my insurance premium using funds from my Medisave account, it was like an epiphany for me! I immediately purchased my insurance policy and the rest is history. The premium was paid for using Medisave funds and I did not have to fork out any cash at all.
5. #MyMumSays, “Live Within Your Means!”
This was probably the best advice that my mom has ever given me. My mom is a simple woman – all she wanted in life was to have enough for herself and her family, and that everyone would live happily. She believes in living within her means so that the family would not be stressed up by financial commitments and burdens. Because of this belief that she passed on to me, I’ve learnt to do that in my own family. When my husband and I were deciding on what kind of house to buy, we followed this 3-3-5 rule. One of the most common mistakes young people make is to overcommit and that was definitely something I wanted to avoid.
What are some of the life lessons that your mom has taught you? On this Mother’s Day, show your appreciation for her by sharing your version of #MyMumSays! I am eternally grateful to my mom for all that she has taught me, and I endeavor to be a mom just like her, teaching my kids the life lessons that I learnt from her. Happy Mother’s Day, mom – Thank you, and I love you forever. :)
Disclosure: This is a sponsored post, but all opinions expressed in this post are entirely mine.
