She Who Loves Homework

It is not a myth – Some kids really like to study. 

I remember as a kid, I enjoyed going to school, completing my homework and even assessment book homework given by my tuition teacher. It’s something my little brother cannot fathom because he absolutely hates them. He often tells me, growing up, that I belong to a rare species of mankind who enjoys studying. Now that I have kids of my own, I’ve realised that while not every kid would enjoy studying, there are some who actually loves it very much.

Little Jayne has been complaining that she doesn’t get to do any homework (since she is still in Kindergarten 1 this year) when her big sister slogs over her homework every night. You should totally see Joey’s expression whenever Jayne complains - ‘You don’t know what you are asking, baby sis.” So, to make it fair, I bought assessment books for her to work on every night. Some friends exclaimed when they heard that – Assessment books at K1??!!!

It’s actually not that surprisingly because I have friends whose kids are in K1, and they are already in tuition and enrichment classes. In case you are still unaware, kiasu-ism is a generally accepted norm in our society. In fact, I’ve been given looks of disbelief and disapproval too many times, because my kids attend zero classes, whatsoever.

Anyways, Jayne was really thrilled that she now has some serious work to do every night, instead of just coloring and drawing. She takes pride in it and even marks her homework herself. I think she secretly thinks that being a teacher is cool because a teacher gets to mark homework, with a red pen no less.

In case you are wondering, her assessment books are all pretty simple stuff – Matching similar objects, coloring the bigger object between the two, counting number of items etc. The real motive is really just to pass time, but if she gets some form of learning from it, I’m happy of course.

It was a pleasant surprise though, when she was flipping through her Chinese assessment book, that she could point out some words and read them without a problem! I was very impressed, indeed. Looks like some serious learning does take place in kindergartens after all.

Now, if only she can keep this level of enthusiasm for learning, when the REAL homework arrives in approximately 1.5 years’ time when she enters Primary One. Heh.

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A Junior Prefect & A Kindy Kid

I love entering into a new year. I like the sense of liberation and hope because everything starts afresh.

Both the girls embark on a new journey this year – Joey begins Primary Two as a senior & junior prefect, while Jayne starts Kindergarten 1 in a new childcare centre. It’s a new transition for them both, but exciting nonetheless.

On the last day of 2013, Joey went for a three-hour prefect workshop, where she was briefed on the duties and responsibilities of a prefect. Not only must their conduct be good all the time, they must excel in their studies and be a good role model for their fellow classmates. Pretty tall order for kids so young, but I am glad she didn’t seem too concerned at all. The most exciting part for her was probably being chosen as part of the team to do flag-lowering everyday. The Primary Two junior prefects are divided into two groups – 1 group will watch over the Primary One students during Assembly time, and make sure they are well-behaved while the teachers are not around. She was glad to be in the other group who handles flag-lowering instead, because according to her, ‘It’s more fun!’

Due to the new arrangement in her school this year, the Primary Three students have moved to morning session, thus leaving only the P1 and P2 students in the afternoon session. That meant that the P2 students have to be the buddies for the P1 students this year, a role that used to be taken on by the Primary Three students only. I love it when kids are given opportunities to hone their leadership skills and build up their sense of responsibility and accountability. Joey was even given two P1 buddies because some of her classmates missed school for the first few days. She very proudly came home and told me how cute her P1 buddies were. Can’t believe it was merely a year ago when she went through that herself! Such experiences make school fun and meaningful, don’t you agree? :)

When I think about Jayne, I am often reminded of how God shows His love for me through this girl. I’ve experienced many prayers answered in this girl’s life, and remembering those blessings always bring a smile to my face. Years ago when she was born, I used to bring her to the nursery in my office. But for some reason, she kept falling sick and I was taking leave every other week to look after her at home because I could not bring her to the office nursery where there were many other babies too. Even though my boss was very kind and understanding, I got fed up with the frequent sick episodes. There was once I got so exasperated I told God that if He provided this baby, He must make a way for me! God answered my prayers, and He touched the heart of my mother-in-law, who came to me and volunteered to look after Jayne for me at home (much to my delight!) even though she really didn’t want to look after kids anymore after being a babysitter for many years herself. It had to be God who moved her heart. That began her 2 years of staying at home and best of all, she stopped falling sick altogether!

Then we started her for Nursery 2 last year at the nearest childcare centre we could get. Even that meant we had to speed-walk 20 minutes to and fro everyday, pushing her in her stroller because it would be too much for her to walk that distance. It was physically tiring and draining especially after a long day of work. When it rains, I would have to take taxi to and from the school because it’s unsheltered all the way. There were days I felt really frustrated. Again, God heard my cries and this childcare centre nearer to my house suddenly called me late last year and asked me if I was still interested to send my kid there. You see, that childcare centre was about 10 minutes’ walk from my home but so popular that I was Number 70 on the waiting list. The reason why they contacted me was because they built two more extensions of the centre JUST NEXT BLOCK TO MINE! The school fees were similar but the distance cut short by 80%, and all the way sheltered! When I put down that phone call, I really felt the love of God.

Her first day in the new school was yet another miracle on its own. I was expecting her to cling on to me and refuse to let go, but that didn’t happen. In fact, when I spoke to her Teacher at the end of that day, she told me that she has never seen a child with as strong an adaptability as Jayne. She went to the Teacher and introduced herself as, ‘I’m the new girl.’, which I thought was pretty hilarious. Then, she participated actively in all the discussions and even told her classmates (who refused to answer questions that the Teacher asked) that, “Come on everybody, don’t be shy. Answer Teacher!” When she paired up with another girl to do some sharing, she also encouraged the girl not to be shy and share what she thinks. The Teacher ended off by telling me, ‘I’m very impressed.’ I felt like a really proud mummy.

I think Year 2014 has gone off on an amazing start for me. How has yours been? :)

P/S: I have a giveaway coming up TOMORROW. Stay tuned.

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"I Don't Want To Go To School!"

It happens.

There is this amazing clock in every kid's body, I've realised, that goes tick tock tick tock at unexpected intervals, that would remind the kid to rebel when it's time to do so. I've experienced it with Joey during her preschool days, and I am not surprised that Jayne is showing signs of her amazing clock acting up.

Jayne generally likes going to school. She speaks fondly of her teachers, her classmates and the things she does in school. Basically, after the initial 2 weeks of transiting her from a life of rotting-at-home to full-day childcare, she has been very positive and happy about this thing called going-to-school. School is fun - Lots of singing, dancing, playing, and she comes home with her hair tied up in lovely styles everyday.

But the last two weeks have not been easy. It first began with her feeling very reluctant about going to school in the morning. We would literally have to drag her to the school, and spend a good five minutes toggling with her at the gate as she makes her fifth attempt to hug and kiss us goodbye, which was just a ploy to cling on to us and not let go. Then one of the teachers would pry open her fingers and pull her away from us as she sobs her heart out. It was heart-wrenching for us on the first day, but that was it.

Then the Form Teacher started to feedback to me that she wasn't willing to eat her lunch and she had to personally feed her spoon by spoon. The teacher thought it was very strange, because she would usually feed herself and finish all her food fast. When it came to nap time, she sometimes refused to sleep, and would just lie on the mattress staring at the ceiling, or sometimes, start crying because she said she missed us. Sigh.

Heard too many horror stories about childcare centres, so I asked her many, many times if she was unhappy to go to school because her classmates beat her, quarrel with her, or were the teachers very fierce to her, or did something to frighten her. She said everything was fine - Nobody bullied her or scolded her, but she just kept missing us the whole day. I confirmed with her teacher who also said that nothing much happened in school and Jayne gave the same set of answers when she asked her why she didn't want to be in school. We were both bewildered.

The last few days especially had been really bad because she would start worrying about school the night before! Near bedtime, she would come squirming like a worm and snuggle up to me whispering, "Mummy, can I don't go to school tomorrow? I want to stay at home." When I told her every kid goes to school and that school is fun, the big, fat tears would come rolling down. School was supposed to be fun and enriching, but it was stressing her out so badly that she started worrying the night before?! Mind you - She's only 4!

On some days, we indulge in her and allowed her to stay at home when my mother-in-law is free to look after her. You should see how the countenance changed drastically from one of total despair to sparkling eyes and ear-to-ear grin. But I also know that this is not the best solution - Giving in to her demands would make life easier for me - I don't have to deal with tantrums early in the morning when I am already rushing to go to work - But that would only make it harder for me to get her back into the routine of going to school everyday! That is the reason why I cross my heart and drag her to school as much as I can, even though the battle's a tough one.

Not funny, babe.

I can only hope and pray that this is just another passing phase in Jayne's life, and that this business of not wanting to go to school will stop somehow. Now that she is still in preschool, it didn't seem that serious to miss a day or two of school, but if I do not nail the problem now, I might have a bigger problem on hand in a few years' time. Nope, I am not allowing that to happen. At all.

Sorry babe, but you are going to school tomorrow.

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Apparently, I Am The Best Medicine

Most of the time, I do enjoy being a mommy. But one thing is for sure - there are lots of frustrating moments. And if you are not a mom, you won't understand the kind of roller-coaster emotions we have to go through on a daily basis. On this blog, you are presented with the happy moments mostly, though once in a while, I show glimpses of the not-so-perfect reality. But that's life - it's a good mix of happy, sad, frustrating and fulfilling experiences.

Just yesterday, Joey fell sick - She was down with fever, and had very bad appetite. She would vomit out everything she eats or drink, and her tummy ached the whole time. I had something important to attend to at work, so I went to office as usual, leaving Joey in the care of my mother-in-law. Throughout the day, my mother-in-law kept calling me to tell me how lethargic Joey was - She did not eat anything the whole day, and was just lying in bed crying and calling for me.

I rushed home right after work, and the moment I got home, Joey became better all of a sudden! My mother-in-law said she didn't utter a word the whole day and was just lying in bed whining. But when I got home, she sat up, agreed to eat some sweet dessert I brought home and munched on some titbits. In 30 minutes, the colour returned to her cheeks and she was chit-chatting with me as if she was not sick at all. My mother-in-law was astonished. She kept telling me how unbelievable it was, because she looked so much better once I got home!

Looks like I am the best medicine in the whole wide world.

Of course, this incident warmed my heart. Although now and then, I get this feeling that my daughter prefers my mother-in-law over me, but when she is at her lowest, all she wants is to be around me. My presence alone can lift up her spirits and make her better instantly. It is a timely reminder to myself that I must never underestimate my presence in my kids' lives. Just by being around for them, I can make a big difference in their development - psychologically, physically and emotionally.

It is so true when people say that money cannot buy happiness. I can buy all the best things in the world for my kids, but none of those things can ever compare to giving quality time to my kids, and letting them know that I will always be around for them. No matter what happens, mommy is here. No matter what happens, mommy will always love you. I need my kids to remember that. That should give them the strength to climb all the mountains in life and overcome any hurdles that will come.

That might be the greatest sense of achievement in parenting - Knowing that my kids need me and want me to be in their lives. I guess I got to treasure that because they will one day grow old enough and feel confident to be independent. By then, it'll be my turn to whine and want them to be by my side. :)

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A Strong Woman

I was so moved when I watched the video clip of America's First Lady, Michelle Obama's DNC speech. If you have not watched it yet, here it is.

She is such a charismatic speaker and exudes such confidence and deep admiration and unwavering support for her husband. Most of all, I was moved because as a mum myself, I developed such a respect for her. Even as she's living the extraordinary life of the First Lady of The United States, she still sees herself primarily as a mum. It is too easy to fall prey to materialistic desires especially when everything seems to be within your reach. To constantly stay grounded and true to your fundamental beliefs, it takes great strength and tenacity, and a conviction that doesn't sway along with circumstances.

Michelle Obama's speech was a good reminder to me that while I may be pursuing my career as a working woman, or going after big dreams that I have, at the end of the day, I am still a mum. And that ought to be one of my main priorities in life. A priority means that everything else must make way for it, and all things in life must be arranged to accommodate that priority. Of course, there are many other important things in life as well, but when things don't work out the way we hope they will, it is the priorities that will determine our next steps and shift our focus back to the most important things to us.

The truth is, I am not just a mum, I am also a wife, a daughter, a daughter-in-law, a sister, a sister-in-law, a mentor, a colleague, a friend... I have so many roles to take on everyday, and like everyone else, I try my best. While I cannot choose whether I want to be a daughter to my dad or a sister to my brother, I did make a conscious decision to become a mum. And that choice is one I intend to stick to with a happy heart, no matter how tough it can be. Through this journey, I hope to become the strong woman I want to be.